Immigration, don't get me started..

Well, it finally happened - I've turned into a lush*!  Mr John came home yesterday afternoon to find me on my third vodka after the most traumatising day.  Before I left work last year I used to joke that, in my retirement, Mr John would either come home from school to find me in a cocktail frock with a tray of hors d'ouvres (having had all day to prepare) or would find me laying on the couch with empty vodka bottles around me.  Yesterday was more the latter.

* Lush - a heavy drinker, especially a habitual one

But back to my traumatising day.  I have a type "O" visa for 12 months.  This type of visa lets you be in the country but not work.  When I got it, and on every website (including the official Thai immigration site) it tells you that with this visa you just have to report every 90 days to the immigration office. 

So the date stamp in my passport, which was put in there when we arrived back from Australia last October, said 28 January.  Naturally, wanting to do the right thing, I put "visit immigration" on my "to do" list for yesterday - in amongst coffee and getting a screw put back in my sunglasses as I'm not sure the safety pin that's currently there gives the right image!  Reporting was first on my list, so off I went.

Mr John had done this a few days ago and advised it was a simple process, see the lady at the small desk who puts a slip of paper in your passport with the next reporting date on it.  Hmmm no lady at the desk.  Man behind the counter beckons me over.  No problem.  Hand him my passport at the page where it clearly shows 28 January.  He then explains to me, in limited English, that I have to leave Thailand today.  What???  This is not on my "to do" list and I instantly start to panic.  He then also says I could get another visa if a have a copy of all my documents, including our marriage certificate.

By this time, I'm not really taking in what he's saying but there is clearly a huge problem.  Get back on the bike and head to Mr John's school.  Send him a text, is he free?  No response.  Remembering the "copies of documents" statement I head back to the house and start madly photocopying.  I never realised how many pages a passport contains, it seemed to take forever.  Whilst constantly hitting the "Copy" button on the printer and sobbing silently, I'm also messaging our friend Kob to see if he's able to come and speak with Immigration Man.  Thanks the Gods for Kob.  He agrees to meet me and Mr John (who has a break between classes) at 12:15. 

As soon as I see Mr John outside the school gates I start sobbing uncontrollably.  He calms me down and off we head, back to Immigration.  My day just gets better as they're on their lunch break - the office is closed 12:00 - 13:00.  And all the time I'm thinking - there's more of the day gone, what bus do I get on, where do I go, how do I get there?  So Mr John has to head back to school for his next lesson and I explain to Kob what's happened so far.  When the office re-opens, he speaks to Immigration Man in Thai, obviously, to find out what's really going on.

He takes me for coffee (Kob, not Immigration Man) so he can explain that it's only a little problem and we can fix it (and gives me extra napkins to dry my eyes!).  I still, even now, don't really know why but my visa only allows me to stay a maximum of 90 days in the Kingdom before I have to leave - even though I can come straight back in.  Kob explained we had two choices - he could drive me to the Cambodian border "which is only an hour away" he said - only an hour!  It would cost 1000 baht to get my visa stamped and have another 90 days here.  The other option, if I had copies of all our documents, was to get a visa that linked to Mr John's.  This would cost 1900 baht.  I spoke with Mr John and we agreed linking my visa to his would be best in the long run.  Disaster averted - I finally calm down and get practical.  Kob is still a little worried as sometimes officials change there mind about things but (and I'm sure it was the look on my face) he didn't think it would be a problem for us.

We go back to Immigration, I had over all my photocopying which started out on single pages but ended up being "back to back" as I was running out of paper at home.  Everything seems to be OK, Kob is doing the talking (in a very quiet, respectful way).  We take a seat.  We get called back over to the counter by Immigration Woman.  At this point I have the originals in a plastic wallet and they have the photocopies. 

Having been told the cost, I have put 2000 baht in the wallet with the originals.  We are asked for the originals, which I hand over again.  She opens them and......... there's the cash.  Suddenly I panic - does she realise this is the fee money or does she think I'm trying to bribe them?  Fortunately it was the former as she didn't bat an eyelid but asked for the photo.  Photo?  What photo?  OK, so now we have to take a trip and get a passport sized photo for the visa.  Although yet another stumbling block, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel - if they want a photo, it must be OK?

Off we head, in Kobs van, to the first shop which had a 30 minute wait so on to the next one and 15 minutes later I have four photos in my hand.  Back to Immigration and six hours after I'd first stepped through the door without my shoes (you have to leave them outside) we leave their office with the right visa and no further reporting until April.  I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically drained.  Kob drops me off at our house and I hit the vodka.

If I've said it once I must have said it a thousand times - I have no idea what we'd do without our friend Pii Kob. In Thai "Pii" means brother and conveys to the person your speaking to the relationship, the fondness you have for them.  This is a more acceptable way of showing your affection here than randomly hugging people, which is not the way it's done in Thailand.  If it wasn't for the respect I have for Thai people, I would have picked him up, spun him round and given him a big kiss when we left Immigration - I was so grateful.  Big deep breath and on with life...